I'd say we're pretty cute..

I love my family. Especially when I get to come home and visit them for a night. It's one of the perks to going to school close to home.

 About a month ago my sister got married. This whole situation and experience brought a new member into the family. Very exciting. It made me think about families and how important mine is to me. Let's take a look..

Daddy.

My dad is my pal. While he might call everyone "pal," I am the original. It came from the scene in "The Lion King" where Mufasa is getting mad at Simba for being stupid and going to the elephant graveyard..

Simba: We're pals, right?
Mufasa: Right.
Simba: And we'll always be together, right?

From that came the pal bonding between me and my dad.

My dad is the smartest man I know, especially when it comes to the gospel and life lessons. He is always very positive and is so supportive of everyone, especially his family. He hardly ever gets upset or raises his voice. Everyone loves him, especially hearing him speak. He is incredible at motivating and inspiring people.

Mommy.
My mom is one of the most talented people I know. Among other things she can sew, cook, and sing. I don't think I've ever met anyone who can do all three of those as well as she can. She made both of my prom dresses in high school, the bridesmaids' dresses for my sister's wedding, and occasionally wakes up on the morning of a big day and decides to make herself a new skirt. She is crazy. Not to mention she makes killer rolls, bread, and amazing desserts. She is fun to talk to and has always been very concerned about her family and how they're doing. She'll always listen to what's going on in life.

The next two I have to kind of do together..

Rachel.

Rachel is my only older sibling. She recently got married in the Mt. Timpanogos Temple to her now-husband named Jeff Hawks. While I haven't seen her or talked to her a whole lot in the past few years, She's continued to be a pretty awesome example to me and I hope that someday I'll follow her example to be married in the Temple to some great guy. So now she has a husband..



..named...

Jeff.

Jeff is the new addition to the family. For the longest time I called him "boy" and that kinda stayed until they got engaged. Then I told him he'd earned the right to be called his actual name. Actually I told him that a few months before they got engaged..anyway..he's still in my phone as "boy." I should probably change that. He's a great guy--perfect for Rachel and so awesome with my family, especially my brothers who have never had much of an older-male influence besides my dad.

Sarah.

This girl can sing, play the piano, works out like a mad woman, and is also on student council. I always hated that our dad called her "Angel" cuz that is so not what she is. But she is an adorable, sassy little thing who I am very lucky to be 4 years older than or I would've never gotten any dates in high school. We have very similar taste in a lot of things and have talked many times about our plans and how our lives are gonna turn out. The chances of those plans coming true? Not good. But hey, it's fun to dream, right? I keep telling her (and the rest of my family) that she'll definitely get married before I do. I mean look at that face..can someone say gorgeous?


McKay.
We've made fun of McKay since he was seven that he still looks like he's seven. But in the last year he has grown up so much and is now a Teacher after having been Deacon's president in my home ward. He is definitely going to become quite the ladies' man. (Not exactly sure how I was supposed to punctuate that..) He is super smart and has gotten into video editing and animation and he is actually really good at it. Very impressive. He'll probably be rich someday.

Will.

Baby of the family. And probably the most loved, let's be honest. There are seven years between him and McKay and it was definitely such a blessing to have him when he came. He is a little fire ball of energy, especially when older girls are around. I can also see him growing up to be quite the flirt/charmer with the girls. Hopefully he gets into sports and can be the one successful athlete in the Matheson family. Don't let us down, Master William!

Families are forever..

...and I am so very grateful for mine. :)

Outside my window: The amazing view of the Mt. Timpanogos Temple that I really miss when I'm at school.. I love to see the temple...

friends.buddies.sisters..Roomies..

My recent blog posts haven't been too exciting, interesting, or, let's be honest, well written (not that this one will be written any better...). I've decided it's time to write about something a little more worthwhile. Like my roommates.

Last August I moved into Heritage Halls as a first semester freshman with my best friend in the whole world, Bethany (no middle name) Richards. It was such a good feeling to be moving out to college and starting my life as an independent woman. Kinda. We were both, however, basically scared to death about who we were moving in with. And unlike the rest of my life at the time that didn't include much luck, we were blessed with 2 girls that we loved so much that we decided to live together again. (Heather and Haley, we miss you dearly!) So, at the end of Winter semester, 2010, we all went our separate ways and in August made the transition from Fox Hall to Foxwood Condos.

Since she's my best friend, I have to start with..

  Bethany

While she likes to tell the story a little different, I'll tell you how we became friends.

In 7th grade I moved to Utah and was in a speech/drama class. At the beginning of the year we had to give speeches that introduced ourselves and gave people hints on how they could remember our names. Bethany was in my class and in her speech told us that she played the piano. I had just quit all sports to play the piano and was studying with Desirae Brown. I thought it would be fun to know someone else who played the piano (more than just hymns and chopsticks) and so I did the typical 7th grade thing and wrote her a note. We passed notes back and forth and later started talking. She thought I was weird, I didn't care. She basically dropped out of school in order to focus on her piano as she was a competitor in the Gina Bachauer International Piano Competition that was later that year. So I didn't talk to her much the rest of the year, but then our moms were talking at some church event and her mom invited my mom and me to come and hear Beth play. So we went and I just about died after I heard her cuz there was no way in heck I'd ever be that good. (Unfortunately it always stayed true, unlike what usually happens when people hear that phrase..:P) I went home that night and was not very happy about my mom having made me go. But somehow ended up watching her again when she played a few nights later. This time my mom made me go up and talk to her after and I felt so bad because she was crying and I didn't even know the girl. But we ended up talking for a little bit while our moms talked. We didn't really talk after that until 8th grade, when we started becoming super great friends. In 9th grade we were on student council and had several classes together. I hadn't really defined us as "best friends" cuz I had a lot of good friends, but for our biology class we had to write an autobiography and part of it was to write about your best friend. I gave one of the stupid "I just have a lot of friends" answers but one day we were in the student council room after school and her autobiography was sitting there. I decided to read it, (I know, I'm a horrible person) and in it she had put that her best friend was me. Lindsay Matheson. And since then, Bethany has been my official BFF.

Even after living together, we're still best friends. Yes, we have TONS of differences--we're so different it's amazing we could be friends. But at the same time we have quite a bit in common and do a good job respecting our differences. She will always be my bestie--we'll be those crazy old ladies who are still friends. I just know it. 

Beth is one of the loudest people I know, but she always keeps things interesting. She's very confident and can get very competitive. She knows how to get people going and how to shut everyone up when they shouldn't be talking. She is the most amazing piano player and is an amazing teacher. She's so great with kids and is going to make a great mother and wife someday. She makes me laugh and is one of the only people who sees me cry nowadays (and even that's very rare. It happens about once a year). I love our annual all-night talks and how we become better and better friends through it.

I love my bethany, beff, bethy..beth. 

Holly Melissa

Holly Heinz was the last of the roommates to move into Fox Hall. In all honestly, we all thought she was gonna be weird and hate us all..turns out she is one of the sweetest girls I know. Last year we were mail buddies and I loved it! Unfortunately this year we aren't home at the same time as much and have 2 roommates who are constantly anxious to get the mail and typically beat us to it. Since we all kind of have nicknames, we call her Holy. Unless we get lazy and forget how much she hates it and call her "Ho." She's a good sport about it.

Holly is such a caring, selfless person. Not too mention she is so adorable and is just naturally pretty. She's a great listener and will be excited for you for whatever little thing you have going on in life. She has the greatest dance moves, especially when she's standing on a chair or table. She's also super smart and has surpassed me in journal writing skills. We walk to class together on Tuesday and Thursday and it's always so great. She is such an amazing example to all of us, especially me and especially when it comes to things like remembering to read and pray. 

She is going to make some lucky guy so happy someday. 

JulieAnn

Julie. Ju. She's probably the roommate that I have the most in common with. We have the same taste in guys, except when it comes down to liking specific guys. And thank goodness we've never had to fight over them because she would totally win. Everyone loves Ju. She knows just about everything and just about everyone. And if she doesn't, she'll do something to make them feel awkward and BAM. Friends. She's the one everyone goes to for advice and she can pretty much always say something to make me feel better, especially since she isn't afraid to give opinions and can give real advice. We see the world in the same way a lot of the time so it makes conversations really great when we can both say "I could've told you that!" Love it.

Julie is gorgeous and an amazing dancer. She made one of the ballroom teams at BYU and totally rocks it. She is so smart and is just about in tears whenever she gets anything less than a 97% on a test. Because it basically never happens. She is also a great cook and is just amazing with people. I love how confident she is and how she is so outgoing and can make anyone feel comfortable. She is just a very giving, lovable person.

I love my roomies. They make me so happy. I really did get so lucky. We have a great time and while we all have our differences and issues, we all get along and are having a great year--well, at least I am. We joke, we play, we tease, and it's so great.

And now, a quote:

“I don't need to pay a therapist to give me crap. I have roommates that do it for free."

 My dad always says that in order to be successful, people need to surround themselves with winners. Often times people surround themselves with people who they see as less than them-people that will make them look good in comparison. But really we need to surround ourselves with people who will lift us up and inspire us to be better. I have definitely done that with my roommates. They all make me want to be better.

I love you girls! :D

Outside my window: the foxwood condo visitor parking lot..with no familiar-looking cars.

You don't have to flirt to be nice..

So it's a pretty well-known fact that at BYU about 25% of students are married, which is great. My sister is one of them. I'm not married or anywhere close to it. One thing I hate is when people who are married put themselves above those of us who aren't and feel like they can't be nice. I mean really. If I'm talking to you and you're married it's not like I'm trying to seduce you and it doesn't give you the right to be rude and ignore everyone. Don't think every girl is trying to hit on you because they probably aren't. Just be nice. You won't be accused of adultery for talking to people, I promise.

That is all.

Outside my window: some clouds and blue sky. Hopefully the blue sky gets closer and the clouds disappear.

Back to BYU..

I miss Florida. A lot. Like you don't even know. But it had to come to an end..

And now I'm back to BYU, college, and my awesome roommates that I love. I got back a week before my sister got married. So she is now Rachel Hawks and as far as I know she and Jeffrey are doin just great. I started business school on Monday and then missed those classes on Wednesday for my uncle Marv's funeral. It was one of those really happy funerals though..he got to spend his 73rd wedding anniversary with his sweetheart, Kirksel. I want to have my marriage be like theirs..they're amazing. I'm so happy for them. Yes, we'll all miss them dearly, but families are forever. So I'll see them again. :)

I've been so bad at keeping updated on my blog but I have to update it weekly now for my MCom 320 class. So now I have to update. Good or bad? Probably both haha. I'm in for a tough semester but after this it shouldn't be too bad..this will be my last huge semester..at least that's the current plan.

Outside my window: Black. I'm sitting on the couch and can't really see out of it. I like the Tigger on the window though. He's cute.

On the countdown.

I come home on August 13. That is less than a month away. 4 weeks from tomorrow. Today I saw my dear friend, Alex, as he was leaving. He'll be going home to South Korea. As it gets closer and more people leave I realize how much I'm going to miss it here. I love the people I work with. Well, most of them ;P And I've loved my job and everything I've learned from it. Hopefully I can push through and get as much as I possibly can out of these last weeks.

I feel awful cuz I hardly talk to anyone from Utah or BYU or missionaries...yes, I'm a horrible friend. I apologize.

Unfortunately the last few nights of work haven't been quite amazing, mostly because of the massive number of tour groups here from Argentina and Brazil and I can't understand them and they try to speak to me in their language anyway and then everyone just gets frustrated. Especially since all of them buy a 32 inch Mickey Mouse and about 32 mugs that need wrapping and about 657 pencils. And ask for an individual bag for each one for "gift." When they ask me to put them in the bag I just look at them and stick everything in the same bag and dump a bunch of bags into that. They can deal with separating them out later.

I went to Cici's pizza today and ate way too much. It was amazing. But now I feel totally sick. Yuck. I think today alone will cause me to gain back all the weight I've lost since being here. :P

I haven't found out about business school yet but I should hear back any day now. I'm still jobless for the fall and trying to figure out what I'll be doing besides school. Very frustrating task I've got on my hands here right now.

That's all I feel like writing right now.

Outside my window: some random kid playing his guitar. I know he doesn't live in this building so I don't know why he's hanging out here..by himself...?

Unorganized thoughts concerning those creatures we call boys and that thing called being attracted to them.

So pretty much every girl who grew up mormon remembers making the list of what you want in a future husband. I know I have about 20 lists in various journals and boxes. And everyone ends up writing the same thing about how they want a good mormon boy with a good sense of humor who wants kids. Typical. I'd laugh every time we did those lists starting when I was 15 because I realized that is totally not the kind of guy I tend to be attracted to. Spending all of high school and what college I've been through in Utah about 99% of my options have been members of the church but I wasn't usually attracted to the ones with every duck in a row. And obviously no one is perfect, but there just tended to be certain things included in the package that I never thought I'd have to deal with when it came to finding a guy I really liked. And then I went to BYU and I'm pretty sure most of the guys I thought I liked I only liked cuz I felt out not liking anyone and really wanted to like someone. While no one is perfect and no two people are exactly alike, I've found that I'm not really attracted to the stereotypical BYU guy that a lot of girls want. And there is nothing wrong with those guys, it's just not what I find attractive. At all. And to every girl the guy they're in love with will be the most amazing guy ever and he will be so different from everyone else. To me, not many guys at BYU, or in Utah in general, have wowed me as different. It's happened, and I've been surprised, but nothing's ever been quite it.

So then I head out to Florida.

There are very few guys that I look at an think "Daaaaang he's hott." I am much more attracted to personality and then after getting to know someone they become very attractive to me. And after that I'm pretty picky about what happens between me and guys. It's been nearly 10 months since I've been in any sort of relationship, and longer if you're counting real, official relationships. 10 months since a lot of things.

There are some pretty amazing people here. Many that are much more interesting and fun than anyone at BYU. People here are much less judgmental and much less worried about how they compare to everyone else.

I don't like specific boys anymore. I just find guys I absolutely love and have the attitude of "well, I hope I can find someone like them someday!"

I'll marry a guy who's a mormon..absolutely, no doubt about it, it will happen. But sometimes I worry that I'm not going to be able to find someone who will make me happy. There are boys who, for some period of time, have been the one who could always make me smile. I would think "yeah, I could see myself with him. He makes me happy" for a select few. There are a few guys here that I like so much better than any guy I know in Utah. No, they're not members, but they're cute. They know how to flirt. And they aren't bad guys either just looking for action. Obviously some are but I think a lot of people in Utah have the feeling that everyone not a member is just out messing around all the time. And I'll be perfectly honest--if I was the kind of girl who just kissed boys, there are lots more here I'd wanna kiss than in Utah. The most unlikely of people is the one who makes me smile now. Romantic interest? No. Not even someone I know all that well. I don't even know what it is. But bam. Smile. Every time. Done and done.

I've been left. I've been hurt. I've been cheated on. I've been lied to. I've been crushed. I've been beaten down. I've been scarred. I've been scared. I've been changed. I've been traumatized.

What's wrong with me?

I like to tell myself that they just realize I'm not as happy as I could be with someone better for me than them.

The kid I first dated is married and the wife is now pregnant, meaning I probably dated him longer than they knew each other before she got pregnant. Weird? Yeah. Thank goodness that wasn't me. My sister is officially engaged. Another weird thing I'll be dealing with. I'm so happy for her. But I can't even see myself with anyone anymore. It's too weird. And me and her have never been able to have boy luck at the same time. I swear it's not allowed. Maybe now that she'll be married it'll be my turn.

Yesterday I was in Hollywood studios and this kid working at Toy Story Mania gave me 7 fast passes when the wait was going to be 100 minutes. Sometimes it pays to be cute and flirt--it saved me a lot of time haha.

All typical, seminary answers aside..this is what any interested boy should know about what I want and such when it comes to me and boys:

1. If you ask me if you can kiss me, the answer will be no. I've never said yes to that question. Ever.
2.When I find the guy I want to give my heart to, I want him to be the one who won't take it away.
3. Know what you want, have a plan, strive for better.
4. If you don't/can't make fun of me, you don't know me well enough.
5. If you don't let me throw the insults and sarcasm and throw it back, I will get bored.
6. Have an opinion. Fight me for mine.
7. It's all about the story. 

I'm just such a hopeless romantic. Whenever it rains, whenever I'm under the fireworks, whenever the weather is perfect and I see the sun set, whenever I'm watching a really cute movie, whenever I'm in a blanket on the couch...I want to share it. I want someone to make perfect moments for me.

I've seen pieces of what I want. And I've been told not to settle. But how can I have it all? There are 4 specific guys that have one thing I want to take and stick them all together into one guy. Unfortunately that isn't quite possible. The only thing I can think of that every single one of those 4 guys lack is the inability to be completely upfront. That and follow through with things they say. Maybe that's one thing that's just impossible to find. Please, someone come and prove me wrong.

Conclusion. Maybe I'll be better off staying single.

Outside my window: a guy who wants to take me golfing.

Grin and Bear it.

So lately my life has just been lots of work. Which is really good--I may actually earn money this summer. :P But I've missed playing in the parks and being with my roommates.With my job there are a lot of interesting co workers and a lot more interesting guests. Every day is what you make it--and whether or not it's good or bad is totally up to the individual. Yesterday was a perfect example.

The first thing I did when I got into work was find the manager on duty and explain to him that I was about to get paid more than I should for last week as the hours on the computer somehow showed that I was to be paid about 3 hours that I hadn't worked. And it didn't show up on my record card so I totally could've gotten away with getting the extra money but decided to be an honest person. So that was good. I worked register, which is almost always a good thing, but it was so crazy busy. We had some problems and I ended up being cut short a break and then worked an hour and forty-five minutes longer than scheduled when a manager asked if I'd extend because they needed the extra help. So I did and missed out on getting a ride home and had to take the bus but it was fine. So it wasn't a great day, especially after 11 when I was supposed to be going home...but during the day I decided I was going to make it the best I could. It was probably the best guest interaction I've ever created. And I had some amazing guests and they made my day so great. A few moments made me smile so big. Some people can just have that effect. So while the night ended up being pretty yuck, I made my day great. And I got a good service fanatic card from a manager for being fantastic. :P We'll see how I hold up today haha.

I love being at work and actually knowing most of the people I work with. It's been so much more fun at work not going into the break room wondering if I'm going to be all alone and awkward in a corner by myself. The missionaries in the ward are really pushing us to get people to church. It's pretty hard since everyone's working all the time. I've given out a Book of Mormon and invited people to come to church but the lack of interest and time is making it really super difficult. I have found out here that I really do love telling people about my religion though. It's been a great blessing and I just hope that maybe someday some of it will bring someone to church. It's something I missed out on as I mostly grew up in Utah where basically everyone's a member--I really like being away from the bubble and being able to help people understand that being mormon shouldn't be associated with "Big Love" or the Amish.

That's pretty much it for now. Just a lot of work. Next week my aunt, uncle, and their kids are coming to play so that will be fun. They are my only visitors for the summer.

Outside my window: the garbage truck that wakes me up every morning that sounds like it's blowing up the building.